Remedies on conquering shyness in social and public speaking settings!

Growing up I was extremely shy.  I had four older brothers and sisters and as the youngest of five I didn’t have to talk because they did all of the talking for me.  Quite frankly, over the years I got really comfortable with it.  As I grew into my early adulthood I found that I was often put in situations where I didn’t have a choice but to come out of my comfort zone.

Social settings were my least favorite.  You know when you are in a crowded room and everyone is talking and you feel like the lone soldier.  Well that was me, and I didn’t quite know how to leap past my inability to just do the small talk that most people do at parties.  What I did was keep my circles small and put myself in spaces and places where I felt socially comfortable. 

Well, as God would have it, he wanted me to be hospitable and open to new people so he moved us down to New Orleans.  New Orleans is a social town and they are very close in their circles but are willing to let you in, if you open your heart to them.  I remember before I left Virginia to move to New Orleans, I asked my oldest sister Angela how I can be sociable when I walk into a new environment.  Just a quick note, Angela is verbally and socially gifted.  She can literally walk into any room and make everyone feel as if they have known her for years and vice versa, she is always the belle of the ball.  She gave me the best advice and said, “Dedra, when you go to a party always act as if you are the hostess.”  Think about it if you are the hostess you will go up to people, talk to them and get to know them.  This was the best advice and when I went to New Orleans, I took heed to her advice and  I made some life time friends, attended the best parties and yes, in my mind I was the hostess. (smile)  It was a great experience. 

Over the years, God started calling me to speak in larger arenas where being shy and talking to people had to be a thing of the past.  I remember one time my mentor, Linda Higgison invited me to speak at an Event Solutions conference attended by event leaders in our industry.  It was my first time speaking in a public arena.  I was so nervous the night before that I was sick to my stomach.   I went to my bible to seek comfort.  Well, you know how God gives you what you need when you need it, I immediately came to the scripture where Moses was speaking to God about not feeling comfortable in speaking to Pharoah.  Moses said to the Lord, “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue.  The Lord said to him, “Who gave man his mouth?  Who makes him deaf or mute?  Who gives him sight or makes him blind?  Is it not I, the Lord?  Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.  Exodus 4:10-12

That one scripture was life changing and whenever I am feeling overwhelmed in speaking in public I go straight to that scripture and I walk boldly in it knowing that I am a child of God and he has prepared my way and will help and teach me what to say.   Wow, that still comforts my heart when I read it.

I have found over the years, when I speak from my heart all goes well.  The next time you go to speak, or are in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable and are nervous, pray to God and ask for him to speak through you, let it go and enjoy the moment that he has prepared for you!

Love and blessings,